Momma said there would be days like this

Today is my 3 full day in New Zealand and it all has started well.

My legs are so sore from all my hiking that its unreal.

The sun down here is so strong that I have burns on my feet and shoulders.  

Considering both of these 2 things I planned on staying at the hostel all day to relax. 

One bad thing about doing so… My mind starts to wander.

As I was sitting quietly on my bed finishing the book "wild" I became overwhelmed with emotion.

"WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!?!"

I am all alone. In New Zealand. On a budget. With only a backpack. 

WTF?!

The looks on peoples faces when I told them about my journey are running though my head. 

That crazy eye head tilt half smile that people gave me when I said I was going alone for 6 months to just explore. 

There is that feeling deep down that I am now allowing myself to acknowledge, were they right this whole time? Is this going to be a disaster? 

I know that I CAN do this and I will DO this. But, during this moment of venerability I wonder if maybe I should have listened.

All I can keep telling myself is that this feeling will happen. It will happen all the time. I will feel lost, alone, and maybe even sad.  I have to tell myself that its OK and that after that feeling has passed great things will happen. 

I remember being in Australia on Christmas day sick as a dog and surrounded by amazing people. And all I wanted was to go home.  There was great food, music, wii games and a dog! But, sometimes nothing makes up for the fact that you just want your mom. 

PLease don't get it twisted, I am not leaving here and coming home. Nor am I just sitting around crying all day. But i felt that i needed to share the good with the bad on the steps of my journey. 

Tomorrow is a new day and there is a whole new world to explore on my horizon.